Where Are The Comments? I'm Lonely...
65Alone Again, Naturally
Believe me, I'm not blaming anyone.
When I was young, a long, long, long, long time ago, I used to be upset at being unpopular. I was so lonely. I had no friends. My parents hung a steak around my neck so the dog would play with me. (Thanks, Mr. Dangerfield.) My sisters used to beat me up and have their friends over to help beat me up. For years and years and years I could not figure out why. But now I know. I'm annoying. That's it, I said it. I feel better, but I know I will always be annoying. It's just how I am.
Victimized By My Kids
Not Geek Enough
I'm the guy who simply must use a Star Trek reference yet is not a Trekkie. If I were I Trekkie, I would have a place - albeit a strange, singular, potentially very annoying place - in a group of like minded individuals. But no, I don't quite have it, I cannot identify the episodes by star date, I cannot effectively visualize an historical timeline of the United Federation of Planets, and I do not speak Klingon. Therefore, even among other Star Trek fans, I do not quite fit in. No, on the contrary, since I am interested in some aspects of Star Trek and not others, I am annoying to other Star Trek fans.
Translating this into the greater arena of life, I am just geeky enough not to fit in with the majority, but not quite geeky enough to fit in with the geeks, either.
Loner
Few stories with happy endings begin, "Associates saw him as a loner..." but this is what I am. I tried team sports, but my best team sport was as part of a relay in track and field, and even then, though you are on a team, you are running alone except for that brief instant when you pass the baton. I gravitated more toward skiing, running, cycling - sports I could do by myself.
Well, it's a good thing I enjoy my own company!
So it's okay if I don't get any comments on my hubs. I understand. It's just, well, sometimes I wish things could be different.
Poet
Man, if you want to scare people off, and being an insurance salesman is out of the question, become a poet. Become obsessed with squeezing more meaning out of a word or a phrase than it actually contains. Read Beckett, Shakespeare, Bishop, Cummings, Nash, Ginsberg, on and on and on until you can't think except in metaphors and your talk only comes in meter. You finish off a thought with a sentence that closes the form and it is more meaningful to you than if people can actually understand it. And always push people to think outside the box; they love that. Yup, bucko, then people will beat a path to your door, let me tell you.
Boner
Yes, playing the trombone is the veritable key to everlasting popularity. Always the life of the party, everyone's favorite instrument, the trombone is really the only instrument you need. It's perfect for backing up a vocalist, or you can play and sing, and everyone will sing along.
When I retire from being a retired locksmith, I think I'll go back to trying to play trombone for a living. At the peak of my career, I made $120 a week. Maybe if I moved to rural Mexico and made that kind of money...
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Hardware Genius
It is lonely being a hardware genius when the phone calls slow down around five o'clock and no one wants your prodigious hardware knowledge anymore. Then it's time to go back to your life as a an ineffectual poet, cyclist, loner trombone player and go home, back into your shell of anonymity.
Oh, sure, during the day everyone wants to know the difference between fail safe and continuous duty, and how to determine whether a door swings left or right. Some may think these are simple questions, but I assure you almost everyone except the hardware elite find these answers all but impossible to find except by calling one of the world's few true hardware geniuses of which I am one.
But I know that no one is likely to comment on a hardware hub. Why should they? It's only hardware, only stuff that keeps you safe and secure while you go obliviously on with your ungrateful life. Did I say that? Sorry....
So please, please do not trouble yourself to comment in the comment box so conveniently provided for the purpose just below this paragraph. Please don't waste your time. I know my place in this world. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. Have a wonderful day, and please don't think about me at all. Thank you.
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Why did I know you would be first, Misha! :0)
haha Tom - are you fishing? Or is that a tongue-in-cheek hub? You know you're one of the most read hubbers! Well, here I am commenting too :D
I am second :-)
P.S. Shuck, not second
:-(
I had to re-type, as I was third :-)
Third time lucky ReuVera :D
And another comment....:D
My attention starved self is so grateful, thank you, thank you.
I think you should change "loner trombone player" to "loner tromboner." I think that might solve all your problems right there. Oh, and "hardware elite" that was comedic genious! That's my comment and i'm stickin' to it.
You are too kind. My head is swelling up so, I may not be able to get it into my cubicle in the morning!
some geniuses are beyond the understanding of mere mortals, and we are left wondering how to respond to concepts we cannot grasp, therefore rather than sound imbecile, we remain silent to hide our ignorance
live long and prosper
*sob* someone understands me... at last
I do not know how to comment! I was never a loner cause I come from a family of eight children. There's always a lot of noise around. In fact, too much. Were you an introvert? Just asking! Besides us eight, there are lots of cousins around for we live close to grandma's house. Grandma's three daughters lived just one house away from her, we live just the third house away and my third aunt on the fifth house from Grandma's house. Thank God for such a big family.
Okay, I'll admit it. I've read a couple of your Hubs but didn't comment. But man, you're like a machine. One Hub after another. What, do you have someone writing them for you? I haven't written a Hub in a very long time and almost every day I see you publishing another one. Will you Stop It Already! :) Anyway, I'm sorry if it seemed like we were ignoring you. You are definitely someone we should all pay attention to. Keep up the awesome Hubs. Maybe just space them out a little so that some of us can get one in once in a while.
Hi Tom,
Me too! I mean, I am here to comment too.
You just had to ask!
And here are the comments :D
Nice hub.. you seemed to have the grasped the secret of generating comments :P
You caught my attention again and I also enjoyed another great article. :)
So here's my comment.
Thanks for the giggle
Love and peace
Tony
I was thinking about not commenting on this one but I felt impelled and here it is mine.
Since I met you here at Hubpages I identify myself with you immediately. And you know what... I have the solution for your loneliness. I was also kind of a lonesome guy even though I never had difficulties making friends but one day I found out that we are the ones who make people come to us and interact. So I would say that you just need to interact more with others here at Hubpages, making more comments, participating on the forums and just being yourself because you´re a great man and people already love you.
Have fun.
Here's my comment: Besos to your not-quite-geeky, trombone player, rather loner funny self!
I'm here to comment too Tom! Only you didn't tell me what to say. At least Benson tells us what he wants us to say when we comment. Tighten up Tom! ;)
I loved this...very, very funny! I also appreciate the fact that you were a boner. I got kind of misty eyed, then I spewed my coffee. :D
Great job Tom!
Heres my comment too! I hope you weren't playing last post on your trombone!
Thank you all for coming to my self-pity-fest! I am greatly comforted by your kind comments and feel much less alone now. The stats are nice - you know, its great that several hundred people are interested in exit device basics - but nothing beats hearing from your fellow hubbers. This really is a nice community.
Well, unlike all these other easily manipulated folks, I REFUSE to leave a comment.
Not falling for that one so easily...sheesh!
I'd have to get up pretty early in the morning to fool you, Gillsie.
I was going to comment. Really! But Star Trek was on! Also, when one is in the company of true genius, hardware or otherwise, coming up with an intelligent comment can be a daunting task!
Mr. Evilpants, thank you for commenting during the commercial break! It's ok, I think Star Trek is more important than I am, too.
I love this! A hub about loneliness that triggers a large social response. So ironic and so clever.
And here I thought I was being self serving and whiny. Maybe I'll do a hub about thumbs up next!
So Tom, I have this hardware question.....
That's right, just use me like a Kleenex. Go ahead. It's okay.
Great title on your hub! I just had to stop and give you another comment so you know there are people out here.
Yes, thank you. I feel much less isolated and angular now. I feel much more rounded and robust. I feel elated!
... maybe I forgot to take my meds
Nice pic and hub : ) It made me start singing "Lonely, I am so lonely…. "
Ah I had such fun writing it. But ya wonder where the comments go, sometimes, don't you? And then for a while you're a 97 and then you're an 89. It's a very mysterious mystery, this Hubpages thang,
Pity, I didn't think of that approach, whatever works in hubville.
Pity, yes, yes, that's what I'm after! Thank you. (Will try to write with more substance when I get less shallow.)
Mate you want pity, go cry on someone elses shoulder. You want lonely try being the last of eleven kids after the depression. Wearing all those hand me down clothes to school. looking like Charlie Chaplin or Goofy ( can't remember which). Being ridiculed by your school mates. (btw That's not me I'm talking about)
Are you crying yet?
Disclaimer:-
I'm only pulling your leg mate. You are very funny and I am certainly a fan!
Wait a minute! I'm that guy! Ha, you had me going there for a minute. I used to be persecuted but now I'm just another pampered American bitching because I have to make double sure to do my job twice as well now so I don't get laid off. Oh, poor me!
Poor you. The heart bleeds....
Tom you mean there was two of us, we are not twins shirley.
Now a rhetorical question (of course this would not apply to you) If somebody who does nothing at work, works twice as well , how much extra work would he be doing?
I agree with everything you said...about you I mean. Just kidding, as I am a hardware fanatic, thought not necessarily knowledgeable beyond a good working knowledge. It's nice to know an expert. To that end, if you recall my comment from your locksmith hub, I said I used to take over houses for insurance companies. Subsequently my job involved getting rid of all the junk. I found a mysterious hand tool and kept it. I have shown the tool to many self-described experts, and no one can identify it or it's purpose. I don't know either, so it's not a challenge, except for you against the ancients. Are you game?
I will forever think of you now as Tim the Toolman. LOL =)) this is my comment. by the way.
You won me over with your eyebrow going up in your avatar.
If I can't have your respect, Londongirl, *sniffle, sniffle* I'll at least accept your pity.
Agvulpes, the answer would of course be no difference, because I would still be doing his work.
You're on, Christoph. I would enjoy seeing it whether I can identify it or not.
I can think of worse things than being known as a "toolman", Marisue! :-p
Cindyvine, I am very happy that you enjoy that very silly picture! :0)
Ok. I'll take a bunch of pics and post them on the forum either later tonight or tomorrow, then drop you a line to let you know it is there.
Loner?! WTF are you talking about? You have waaay more comments and better written hubs than me?! That's great how active you are in sports. I use to enjoy running on tracks but that didn't last long due to my low blood pressure. And I love hearing a trombone being played. They make some beautiful farting music. Oh BTW, do you have some good knowledge on how to fix a toilet? tehe There! You asked for it! ;)
~May
I can't think of a good comment. So I guess I won't leave one.
I'll look forward to seeing the pix, Christoph.
I can fix a toilet, but I am an amateur, Mayhmong!
Patricia, I am so hurt that you did not leave a comment!
I really can relate to the statement "I am just geeky enough not to fit in with the majority, but not quite geeky enough to fit in with the geeks, either." Been there :D
Did you see the add at the top of your Hub? It says: "A Geek You Can Love is Nearby Meet & Date on Geek 2 Geek". Of course I had to click it. They had several old poll results. Again, I just had to look.
Did you know that out of 474 geeks polled the number one answer to the question, "How old were you when you first had sex?" was tied. The two answers that tied were (1) 17-18 years of age and (2) Never had sex.
I knew you couldn't live without that little tidbit of information!
No comment LOL
Well here I am , and I am definetly NOT going to make a comment.
Wise choice, Hawkesdream! I wouldn't either.
I used to play the trombone when I was a kid too. I wonder what that means? Since you quoted Mr. Dangerfield, I have a useful tidbit to help. Instead of Star Trek, try quoting lines from Caddyshack.
Tom I felt kinda bad about that too. But here I am, not doing it again...
Another trombone player! My brother!
Patricia, you know, you're right. I'm not going to comment either.
oh you poor little petunia, those pics are so cute, the one all dressed up like Little Bo Peep hahaha, had to laugh.You need to go bungee jumping or something,maybe a trip to outer space, that will fix you up honestly.x0x0
Outer space sounds cool!
I know how you feel... been there, done that... It gets better though.
Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, think I'll go eat worms...
sing it, you will feel better.
You're right! Works great! I feel fantastic now, wheeee!
Gee, Tom, it was the fact that you play the trombone that hooked me the first time I read your blogs.......what can I say? I'm a sucker for those jazz & blues musicians.
Oh, I love the blues. That's why I'm singin' it in this hub!
I am here to make a comment. Check out my hub I just throw love at yah there. :)
OMG I've got a stalker LOL I'll be right there
Wasn't sure what to expect when I saw the title but I'm sooo glad I came to read. You've definitely gained one more fan here. I would say that Goldentoad's comment was apt!
Golden is indeed special, RooBee. Thanks for relieving my loneliness!
Dude, you have got to be kidding! If ANYone is lonely around here it is Phoenix!
I have to disagree about the poet comment though since I have used poetry to get more poon-- uh, I mean, romantic, heartfelt, erotic poetry has opened the doors of many female . . . uh, hearts. Turn them into actual songs and you are a rock star!
My name is Phoenix and . . . that's the bottom line!
Hey Tom, I'm here and still loving your work!
I'm still feelin' sorry for you and lovin' this on the 2nd read, Tom! Keep peddlin', swingin' (right or left), and keep playing that trombone!
Wow, we're both feelin' sorry for me! Cool!
Thanks, Dink!
Interesting...I wonder what keywords this one shows up for...
I dunno, maybe self pity, low self esteem, audience manipulation...
You are still one of my favorite writers, your hubs are always entertaining, Tom.
Thanks
Thank you, Darrell! It's good to see you, too. And gee, I don't feel so lonely anymore.
Cute hub. Am wondering why I hadn't commented years ago? Thankfully your hub made the rounds this year so I had the opportunity to say hi. So, hi Tom! :)
It's kind of magic when a piece of writing that has lain forgotten somehow rises to the surface. Thank you, Julie. :)
Tom , at the end of all these comments ,all I can say is pooor baby , i love what your kids did to you though , sorry!lol....:-}
Thanks, Ahorseback. I'm not so lonely anymore not that you've stopped by.
Misha 3 years ago
So here I am, commenting :P